supsass:

can i sell my feelings on ebay i don’t want them anymore

(via lauritahkillsmonstrous)

Princess and Me at the Fair...

  • Princess: I want cotton candy! [To guy selling it:] I just want a kid portion, please.
  • Vendor: That's only available up to age 8. How old are you, then?
  • Princess [slightly confused at the question]: 29.
  • Vendor: What's that? Can't hear you?
  • Daddy: She's seven!
  • Vendor: Ahhh, that's what I thought! *creates a kid portion and adds a face out of roasted almonds to it, handing it to princess with a flourish*
  • Princess: [smiles and blushes]
  • THEJORY: Couldn't just pay the extra 50 cents huh.... Typical Daddydom... total cheapskate... [he steps from out of the shadows... one hand holding the large teddy bear grand prize from the seemingly impossible Ball-N-Cup game, in the other, a small funnel cake.]
  • Daddy: Listen... Please Mr. Jory... SIR! I'm begging ya here... we're just trying to have a nice time at this fair... Let us be *crying now* Please spare me...
  • Vendor: *quickly pulls down the metal divider on his stand. The words "Sorry we're closed!" replacing him.* [I notice the sea of people that once engulfed us at the fair's food court has dispersed.]
  • THEJORY: You and me both know that isn't gonna happen... *He takes off his very cool sunglasses he was wearing and tucks them into his superb duster jacket.*
  • Daddy: *places his fist under my chin and nudges my head up to lock my eyes with his* Find somewhere safe... RUN! And don't DON'T look back.. promise me!
  • Princess: [starts to cry and runs towards the restrooms]
  • THEJORY: [Finished eating his funnel cake and so he brandishes the spork not as a eating utensil... but a killing utensil] Sorry daddy... you gotta be this tall to ride this ride [In one quick slice THEJORY splits Daddy in half. As the top half begins to fall to the ground, THEJORY 360 roundhouse kicks it towards the stacked milkbottles, knocking them all down.] Guess I'll be taking that grand prize too...

chekhov:

My asshole is tighter than the bond between a mother and her child

(via bussykiller)

killamobetta:

radicalbehavior:

Tell me about a time where a white child was killed and black people made a hashtag mocking their death, a Halloween costume mocking their death, or a celebration of their death in any way shape or from. NEVER!!

Black pride has never been about hating white people, but white supremacy has always been about hating black people.

^^^^

(via onlinegf)

  • person: i hate cats
  • me: what the fuck
elysemarshall:

buzzfeed:

Turns out the world isn’t such a bad place after all. 

Timely reminder that people are inherently good.
elysemarshall:

buzzfeed:

Turns out the world isn’t such a bad place after all. 

Timely reminder that people are inherently good.
elysemarshall:

buzzfeed:

Turns out the world isn’t such a bad place after all. 

Timely reminder that people are inherently good.
elysemarshall:

buzzfeed:

Turns out the world isn’t such a bad place after all. 

Timely reminder that people are inherently good.
elysemarshall:

buzzfeed:

Turns out the world isn’t such a bad place after all. 

Timely reminder that people are inherently good.
elysemarshall:

buzzfeed:

Turns out the world isn’t such a bad place after all. 

Timely reminder that people are inherently good.
elysemarshall:

buzzfeed:

Turns out the world isn’t such a bad place after all. 

Timely reminder that people are inherently good.

elysemarshall:

buzzfeed:

Turns out the world isn’t such a bad place after all. 

Timely reminder that people are inherently good.

(via palabras-quebradas)

gookgod:

gookgod:

so… you come here often? 


I honestly hate this post so damn much gookgod:

gookgod:

so… you come here often? 


I honestly hate this post so damn much

gookgod:

gookgod:

so… you come here often? 

I honestly hate this post so damn much

(via actually-alone)

zombiesandporn:

cathilia-crimson:

checkzeattic:

menthol-drops-and-angel-wings:

levi4thans:

PEOPLE DIED 

102 YEARS AGO

THEY’RE ALL SKELETONS FIGHTING IN THE UNDERWATER SKELETON WAR NOW

CHILL

I’m sure they are very chill right now.

You might even say they’re…

ICE COLD.

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT 

(via palabras-quebradas)